All sorts of things have happened this week!

A. My computer is not dead!!!! I apparently didn't have the power strip turned on when I tried to turn the computer back on. I was going through serious Internet withdraw and though I would disconnect Best Friend mom's old computer and try mine again. IT TURNED ON!! Life is good.

B. Goosie was sick. At first I thought she had a cold based on symptoms, running eyes, lethargy, loss of appetite. Didn't want to take her to vet, only had thirty dollars left in bank and credit cards are closed. Found out my dianois was wrong, when I tried feeding her jellied turkey broth with an eye dropper. Stuck the eye dropper in the corner of her mouth. she SCREAMS. She jumps away and SCREAMS again! And SCREAMS again. I'm standing there frozen, because I now know for sure she NEEDS to go to the vet. But I have a dentist appointment the next day. How can I get out of it and not pay for it (24 hour rule). God hears my prayers. The recepiontist calls me the next day, the Dr. is sick!!! Now I'm not happy that the dentist is sick, but I need every dime I can marshal for Goosie. I make an appointment with a vet that my sister recommends. I take Goosie. The vet can not even look into her mouth because Goosie screams when the vet tries to insert her finger. Goosie needs to be gassed to be examined and fixed. I explain my financial position. they tell me that if I can come up with most of it, they will bill me for the rest.

I had spend the morning collecting my quarters from around the house. I had over a hundred dollars in quarters. They didn't want them, they told me to exchange them at the bank. At the bank they gave me rolls and I spend the next half hour rolling up 130 dollars in quarters! I also gave them all of last weeks tips. All together I manged to cough up $267.00 for a $318.00 bill.

Goosie got a tooth extracted. Her mouth is inflamed. They gave me anti-biotic for her. I take her back next Monday to see how she is doing.The only thing that worries me, is that she is not eating much. I got her to eat about 1/6 of a cup of jellied turkey juice this morning. But, she does feel a lot better, way better. Right now she is in the back yard on the rope.

C. I have tried to emulate http://lessisenough.blogspot.com/ and spend way less for healthy food. No cookies, or crackers this week, instead soups, burritos, enchiladas, and pasta. I'm still spending more money then I want to, but I have lost seven or ten pounds! I'm sitting here in my size 18's! And this has not been hard or bad. Just need more veg tables.

D. Knee has gone. It is now time for second knee operation. Too bad I can't get it for at least (starting the processes to get the operation with the county) for about 4 or 5 months. I'm using the vicodin for my gallbladder to handle the pain and be able to walk. It still hurts like I'm bending it sideways instead of straight, but on vicoden, I don't care. I don't know what I will do, once the vicodin runs out.

E. The florist is having a meeting for ALL the employees. I don't think he's closing the shop, because he's still ordering vases, but I'm thinking that he might close the shop on more days then just Sunday. Like Saturday as well. I'm praying that the meeting will be just to tell us we won't be getting paid vacations this year. I'm way okay with that, as long as I get to keep my job.

Still at My Sister's

And I'm using one of their laptops!! Hey, it may have been locked up, but Jackie never said that I couldn't use it! I'm going to drive my friends and family mad begging to use their computers.

Saw Numbers. Creepiest ass movie I'm ever seen. Sad girl writes down numbers, which get placed in time capsule, hears people whispering to her, then grows up and marries and has a daughter ,then goes completely around the bend. Tells daughter the day when the daughter will died, dad takes daughter away. 50 years later the time capsule that numbers were placed in is dug up. Boy gets numbers, also hears whisper. Boy's dad gets a hold of numbers, determines that they have foretold disasters pass and futer. Whisper people start showing up, and give boy a vision of a burning earth. Disaster predictions start coming true, father believes, deciphers other numbers as coordinates. Contacts sad girls daughter. Shortly there after finds out that the sun is going to have a massive solar flare that will destroy the ozone layer and fried earth. There is no where to go to survive. Dad realizes that sad girl was interrupted while writing down numbers. Finds missing number, they are coordinates , it is sad girl's trailer in the woods. Dad leaves for there with sad girl's daughter and their two kids. Sad girl's daughter dies on way (It's the day predicted). Kids kidnapped by whispering people. Dad makes it to trailer. Finds kids with whisper people. They are angels. Only the people who can hear then whisper can go with them to another world. Kids go with them, dad goes home to estranged parents and dies with them when earth fries. Told you it was creepy.

My Computer Has Finally Died

I'm over at my sister's, house sitting, using her computer. I re booted it and it was just like the monitor, it just wouldn't turn back on. No power light, zip. So I tried the back up computer (Best friends Mom's old one, that has been sitting at my house for like six years). runs, just as old as mine, with Windows ME. But, . . it has a plug in slot for the either net cable, a serial port, not the phone jack thingie. I can't connect it up to the web. It's useless!

So I talked to Bob. Bob will sell me his old laptop for $125.oo, if his daughter Mandy hasn't sold it to somebody at her work. I will pay him in $25 installments. Also no sexual favors are required, but he'll accept them if I want to give them LOL! I just don't know when I'll get it. If I get it. A lap top would be good. I could take it into my bedroom and mess around on the Internet in bed. Sorta a dream of mine.

Actually I had been thinking lately all I really need is a netbook. I will discuss this with him later.

I go back to work tonite

And, I'm very apprehensive about what will happen. Will I get wrote up having to leave work in a middle of a shift? It's just another nail in my coffin, because this happened on a shift where I was working with two supervisors who dislike me intensely. I know what they will say, I shouldn't have come to work in the first place. But, it was a completely atypical attack. For one, an attack lasts between 4 to 6 hours. This one lasted around 10. Secondly, I have only vomited on two previous attacks, and that was at the very end of the attack, ending them. Three, the pain is worse at 1/3 mark, depending on what kind I'm having-----the vomiting ones only last one hour and the pain comes in waves, get worse just at the end. I had been having that attack for 4 hours at that point. How was I to know it was going to get so much worse? Until then, when i threw up, it had been uncomfortable, not unworkable. So I'm worried.

I signed up for Healthy Way LA

Okay, I did not sign up for Healthy Way LA at that time. I have Now, yesterday, in fact. Here is my link to that post. Actual post about really signing up.

 Link ----> How To Sign Up For Healthy Way LA

I heard the lady wrong the first time on Monday. I actually pay $125.00, not $105.00. However I have the option to only pay $80.00 if I want to, and pay myself for my meds.I don't pay the money every month, only the months that I see a doctor. So, if I can get my doctor to write me 3 or 4 month prescriptions. . .this will be worth it. Specially since I am going to ask to go back on Straterra, and get on anti-anxiety drugs.

The only reason I went off Straterra was the money. I managed to cough up the $200.00 bucks a month long enough to know that it really works for me. I'm also going to ask to stay on Ritalin as well. I have read about this combination in the ADD forums and I would like to try it.

The anti-anxiety drugs, ooh baby I need them. I wake up in the middle of the night convinced that I left the garage door open at work. I worry about the house burning down, because I left my hair straightener plugged in. Not ON, just plugged in. I drive around talking to myself about my paranoia about losing my job, both my jobs. I latch on to any little statement made and I magnify it. Of course it doesn't help I have a boss who likes to make cryptic remarks. Two weeks ago, " I'll keep the employees that know how to do everything," does this means he's thinking of laying off? Cindy says he's down to minimal staffing. Does this mean he's thinking of letting ME go, and having him or Sharon, or his son doing the deliveries? I don't know, but of course I worry about it. [My worse case scenario is that he fires me after Mother's day.] Ya, I worry a lot, and try to extract meaning from every comment made. . I have intrusive thoughts. I can't make them shut up. It's getting to the point where I wonder if I'm going over the edge. I would like to be able to stop worrying about everything and nothing.

Yesterday Was Horiable!

I had the worst gallbladder attack ever. I have had gallstones for around ten years now, and had about twenty attacks. Apparently I can't handle ranch dressing. In all the attacks I've had, only two involved vomiting. And that was at the end, as soon as I had vomited the pain stopped miraculously. Not this time. This time I vomited in the middle of the attack and it signaled the start of the second most intense pain I have ever felt (the first being when I broke my collar bone). Unfortunately I was at the pizza place working. The pain until then had been bearable but uncomfortable. Suddenly I started coughing and had just enough time to make it to the bathroom. After I vomited, I promptly went to my supervisor and told her she had to get someone in to work for me. The pain was starting, and although I was wondering whether I had the flu rather then a gallbladder attack I did know I couldn't work if I was actively throwing up. Of course Jackie was mad, but she told me to just leave which I did. By the time I reached home, I was almost screaming. I stripped off my clothes (can't stand any kind of pressure when I have an attack), and called my sister. She came and took me to the county urgent care. By that time the pain wasn't so intense. So we waited outside for about 15 minutes to see how it was going. But it didn't stop, so we went inside. Of course by the time I saw a doctor, it was for all purposes GONE! He had them get my records to see what my ultrasound shown, and what was the name of the meds I was suppose to be taking. That took around 3 or 4 hours. I finished my book (City Of Sparks) and I really, really wished I had bought my knitting. Upshot, I got a prescription for vicoden, and two for my high blood pressure, and high chorestal.They are for one month, no refills. I won't fill them, no point, won't be back to see doctor again. It's 80 dollars now. Can't afford that.
Also I was suppose to go for another ultrasound as the last was in 2003. I went, but they didn't tell me it had to before 9:00 a.m. I got there at 9:30. I will get it done on the 30th, assuming they don't charge me another 80 bucks.
Checked out the Health Way LA program. For me it would be $105 a month. That would included visits and meds. I don't know whether that would be each month or just when I went to see doctor. It might be worth it for a while if I get to have gallbladder surgery. I will go back tomorrow and talk to them.

Just A Tad Depressed

Mainly because of the work situation. I am now going to work at 9 instead of 8. The florist wants me out by 3, if he can help it. I've gone from a 40+ job to 24 to maybe 30 hour job. Trying to save money. Best Friend bought 8 days of canned cat food for the fuzzy people. Fuzzy people really appreciate it, Best Friend. Have finished two bags of turkey meat. I have the biggest bag in the freeze along with a container of jellied juice. I want to make turkey enchiladas, but I can't make myself go to the store and buy the stuff and made them. I have nothing left, accept for fig newtons and fried zukinie. Oh, ya, I forgot, I have potatoes! I can make myself some mash or just bake a potato and take it to work!
Jackie is going to give me two chickens. I am going to boil them in a crock pot, eat the meat, (perhaps the cats will get some) and make soup. I am leaning towards chicken/turkey Florentine. Actually I should shoot for stew, shouldn't I?

This is all new turf for me. I haven't cooked on a regular basic, since the 1980's! Yaa! Baby! I don't know any recipes anymore. Thank God for the Internet!
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Chest hasn't hurt very much today.

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I didn't go to the knitting Guild meeting last night, because of the depression. I just stayed home, watched a lifetime movie (The Pilot's Wife), and messed around with How-To-Cast-On! Can not do the Long Tail Cast On, for the life of me. Repeatedly watched the video on Knittinghelp.com, and it just wouldn't turn out right. I would make the loop, pull it down with the needle, hold the yarn on it, loop it under the thumb, go over to my index finger and loop it, and that's where I screwed up every time. Don't know why. Hand cramped up horribly. Eventually noticed that there was a ALTERNATIVE method! The thumbing method works just fine for me! All it is, 1. put thumb up along needle, 2, wrap yarn around thumb and needle, 3, wrap yarn between thumb and needle, 4, pull yarn loop on thumb over other loop and over top of needle. Presto, first cast on! Repeat, until you have as many stiches as you need.

I am holding steady now on the stitch count. Very little stitch dropping and splitting of the yarn.
Soon, I will find a simple pattern and try it. I will make cardigans for me. Really nice ones!

Cooking A turkey

I've decided to cook one of my two turkeys, that are in my freezer. They are my back up food and I think I have got to the point that I need to eat them. I can get weeks of meals out a turkey. I strip the meat and boil the bones and make soup.
I'm almost at the point that I will have to stop buying canned cat food. Actually I KNOW I should stop buying the canned cat food. My take home pay used to be between $550 to $620. Yesterday's paycheck was $405. I have to save money for the property tax. And car repairs, ect. Right now, I'm not saving anything that I can see. Can't bare to do that to the cats thou. But it would save me $35 a week. That adds up to $140 a month. That would really help. But the cats, they would be so hurt and pissed and while theyould have unlimited cruncies, they would really miss the wet food. It's a mad house in the morning when I feed they the canned food. The boys circle me, speaking away, while the girl cats hover at the edges. Mr. Isbis runs over to my head as I bend down to put the food on the plate and sticks his head under my hair, ( now he has to rear up to do that ), and petends I"m his mom. The boys run from plate to plate, looking for a different favor, snacking on each kind. The girls just get in there and eat. It's a fun and rowdy time and I don't want it to end.

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Damn it, I cooked it with the gilblet bag in the neck cavity! Tastes okay however. I'm going to do some research on it.