The Stress Is Getting To Me.

Every day I wake up with a headache, and my chest hurts 24/7. I need to buy some tums or something. I afraid to look at the figures for my bills, because I'm afraid that even if I get food stamps, I still won't be able to keep all my utilities on. There's no way I can pay my credit card bills. This is a real shame, because with the payment plan I've been on for a year and a half, I could actually see the the end of the tunnel in around two years time.

What I have to do is turn the water heater off, don't need hot water right now. I don't like washing my clothes in hot water anyway, and I have the gym to wash me at. I have no idea what I'll do in the wintertime. I let that take care of it's self at that time. Let's not get  my worrying ahead of it's self.

Also, cable has to go. I cannot let BF pay for that AND the gym. I have to keep the Internet on, so I can look for jobs. I can watch shows online. I also have a lot of DVDs and still have my VCR and some tapes. Wish I hadn't done that purge last summer, now. Still I don't think I will suffer all that much from loss of cable. I'll just have to give up my ADD ways and do one thing at a time!

Monday I'm going to call the nice lady at the newspaper and ask her about the list I put myself on. Like when will they call me? I need that job.

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I want to clean the house, (nope, not one lick of work done during the last six months, the dishes were never washed, the floors not swept, I barely threw the trash away, depression, anyone?), but it's TOO HOT! There's a tropical depression in the area, and swamp coolers don't work in humidity. And the temperature has been hitting 107 F. The cats are lying around in the hallway like dead furry slugs. Me? I'm not wearing anything but panties and flip flops and I'm still so sweaty and grimy. I also have to wonder if the headache is a sign of over heating. I should, even although I know I can't afford it in the long run, go to the dollar movies. I could be in a nice air conditioned movie theater, watching a movie I've never seen for as little as $1.50. This is why everyone used to go to the movies in the '30s.