Friday, March 4, 2011

Yes, I am FUCKED!

I'm just going to talk a little about this because it's so upsetting to me. Apparently I have "lost" my original claim from the full time job and now I am "claiming" on my part time job. This means, from my original claim I was getting $253.00 a week, I am now getting only $173.00. I got my first check. . .it's for $28.00 rather then the $150 or more that I am use to.

I really think I'm going to have to go for food stamps. I am going to find it difficult to pay the utility bills let alone my credit cards.

I'm going to try to look at this as an adventure rather then a tragedy. It's the only way I can deal with this and sleep. My hot flashes have returned, although not at the level of last summer. It's because I am upset. I have discovered that the hot flashes are a barometer of my emotional state. When I feel anger, hatred, or depression, I have hot flashes. There is nothing corresponding for positive emotions.

I have discovered that I lie to myself a lot! I now must confront my emotions and  not denie them. This undoubtedly good for me.

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